A Beating Sense of Belonging

"All people live in their country, except Palestinians, their country lives in them"  a quote i have ever valued  and imprinted in my heart; Although lately its seems that i stand alone. The reality is, everyone flavors a sense of belonging, because where a person belongs is where his identity subsides; a person with no sense of belonging is a person without identity, a person without identity is not only lost between the crowd, but also within himself.     I took a look around and realized that many of us Palestinians these days no longer feel they can belong to Palestine, because its almost that they feel they have nothing to take pride of anymore; people who don't take pride of where they're from try to find another place they belong and i understand, to a certain extent. What will they tell people? "Hey look I'm from that place, you can't see it because its just debris now", so they set off trying to find a new Identity, a new place to belong to, attempting to let go of their original identity and holding on to another, so they can tell people they belong; but i beg to differ.  Us Palestinians have the most definitive origins, I take pride of where I'm from and i say it loud and proud; we are the bravest of people and you don't need much proof of that if you follow the news. You SHOULD  be proud of being Palestinian, and frankly i am proud of my people, being able to live through such hardships. These days it might be hard to point to the ignorant where you're from on a map, but read the first line in this blog once more and tell me again, where are you from?

Comes second day of school, things are still unstable. Seems it was still trying to get a hang of it...My school is like a newborn giraffe, it takes a little while to get on its feet at first, but once its up it goes for the hills;

                     Another early morning, I still haven't found someone to drive me to school, so I ended up having my mom drive me early, but no biggie! fast-forward an hour or two and I'm in class already : ) I'll tell you now though, on a school day there usually isn't much to blog about...considering the boring routine, but ill just mark down the significant events. Today, for instance, our supervisor walked into our humongous class of twenty-nine, soon to be thirty-two,  picked out few students and transferred them to the other class. For the most of us we were same class in eighth when i first came to this school and since then we have been passably the same class, we were more or less  - for better or for wost, a family. It felt almost like we were robbed to be honest, I came to realize that from that moment  forward Global Academy will never be the same.

The Echoing Sound of a Long Day

Big thoughts raced through my mind as I embarked on a, in some sense, final trip to school; who's going to be in my class? who will our teachers be? mainly all kinds of little things that worry.    Due to some complications, i was unable to find a ride to school on my first day, so i had to call a taxi company a day ahead to get that done. Although the taxi promised to come in at the most convenient timing possible...it eventually arrived ten minutes past five in the morning! way to be convenient!? :/ 

I eventually accepted the reality of the situation, got into the taxi and arrived just about 15 minutes later, due of the lack of civilization of the road, I could have sworn I heard sound of the car's engine echo through the horizon of that empty godforsaken morning.        Although the car slowly crawling, my heart was raipidly and curiously racing towards the school, and then, the buzz-kill. Just as disappointing as it sounds, school was closed! it is yet to open at six thirty. Un-willfully, i walked to the juice stall nearby to kill of  few hours....had a most original Arab breakfast, drank Karak and shamefully walked back to school.   At first it all looked unchanged, from the small details going through the largest, but i was yet t be proven wrong.       It felt like Neil Armstrong as I was arguably the first person to set foor on school ground since the past academic year.   It was at least a good half an hour before I saw a living being come into the school; fast-forward a few frames, I'm stuck outside the school's building -- What happened!?  As it appears my parents have not registered me for this year and thus i was temporarily not allowed into the class; skipping through boring details, It was only until 9 o'cock that i went into class :-

 Beaten down by the process, i sat in the first spot that crossed my vision, got ready my pen and paper, and as similarly as every predictable year of my scholastic life, I proceeded to listen to each teacher's lectures, alternating between the "you're in the Xth grade" speech and the "I am your daddy, you will respect me" speech, truly a joy! I don't believe anything note worthy happened that day, although i was extremely gladdened by the familiar faces that i instantly recognized the moment i set foot in class :) But not for long,  soon all the delight faded away! stay tuned.

Just a Thought

It's 12 P.M. at the moment, i couldn't sleep so i eventually got up in a desperate attempt to tire myself into some decent sleep, i decided to wait for lunch while I'm at it so here we go--
I thought i could use this time to gather my thoughts and try to envision the upcoming year, which brings many obstacles my way, from the biggest issues like the Sat's for instance, to the smallest things like how will me manage to gather enough money by the end of the year for our failure prom of a class branched into a 1,000 group mosaic "cool people" & the underdogs, smokers & the non-smokers and all sorts of the littlest things that separate a crowd. I could sit here and argue about looking at the cup half-full or half empty, or whether it is pee in the cup...OR i could get another cup and fill it myself with what ever i could make of this year, hopefully all the best out of this one last year.
Awaiting my FINAL-FIRST day of school in 3 days, quit the paradox isn't it!? praying to god this year brings nothing but joy inshallah

Less than productive

Today was rather dry (metaphorically speaking), I didn't really get anything intellectual done with the SAT coming up...again awoken by one of my dear friends...gotta love it!  Now although it wasn't half as pleasant waking up after only 6 hours of sleep, but frankly speaking today might have just been worth it :)                I got up after the phone call, did my wake-up bathroom routine and then managed to watch a single House episode before the first bell echoed though the momentarily empty house--oh and did i forget to mention it was a poker night? well it was, person A, arrived a bit earlier than expected so i had to slip a shower while he played Fallout on the Xbox.  Four other peeps followed as the night progressed to become the most significant of the week by far, we played poker, fooled around, ate pizza at Papa Johns and then everyone went his way.

Its currently 10 in the morning, my energy got drained out as i went on a House M.D. frenzy-- watched almost six episodes in a row, because it's just that good. Season five seems nice so far, but jut a bit confusing.     I'm now drinking my morning cup of coffee with the family as i write this and actually going to head to bed, and yes, even I am amused that i can sleep after a good cup of coffee ~

Wednesday the Fifteenth

As per use my day starts with me sleeping--thats because my summer sleep starts at around 6 to 7 A.M. meaning I wake up later on that same half gutted day...at 5 P.M. thus completing my full sleeping cycle in that same set of 24 hours :) exciting, isn't it!?
       So I'm going to start from the tip of the iceberg. Today's sleep attempt (its a journey, personally) premiered roughly in a usual manner but proceeded to become more annoying as the night went on. I threw myself onto my heavenly square of comfort and smothered my pillow with my big, heavy head. Now the reason that I NEVER forget my pre-sleep nasal medicine (although I am very absent minded) is because its the only thing that i am a constantly reminded of. As soon as I make contact with my bed my nose instantly shuts closed and i feel like I can hardly breath, so I get up franticly to get my medicine, puff once in my left nostril, once in the right one, and head back to sleep. Oh but wait! i was merely over my first obstacle of my night (morning, technically). So here comes the dilemma, despite constantly being pressured to let go of my battered  8 year old, silly looking blanket, I continue use it. Because i like it, because its comfortable, because i don't like change in comfortable routine, because im more or less, emotionally attached to it. I know..funny shit :)
     Oh! the dilemma, right...my mom decides she will surprise me by buying a new blanket (hooey), turns out to be such a waste as i struggle through the night trying to get comfortable with that outsider, went to bed at 6 A.M. but I'd say by the time I was done bitching about that new blanket in my head I slept at somewhere around 8 A.M.

But my day goes on :-


I wake up randomly at times only to realize that there is nothing to look forward to in my day in this god forsaken country, so I go back to sleep. My final awakening was COMMITTED by our trusty maid, Eleen; (don't believe me, i hate her.) my friend, apparently, is waiting for me down stairs for some reason or another..i don't remember making any rendezvous at 5 P.M. but hell, i got up off my cranky ass, got dressed and skipped downstairs to I identify the felon, and that i did....its always an honor to see a person who never asks of you sitting waiting for you to do him a favor, but for the sake of a friendship, i gave him what he wanted and he got back on his way to do what ever the hell he wanted to do. Then shuffled back upstairs, checked my Facebook and at random remembered that today hosts a VERY exciting match, locally (which my team won btw) I called one of my other friends and tried making plans to go watch the match, but it was too late....we had to make other plans.  Later that day we agreed we'd meet up at a cafe and play some cards, and play i did, i kicked some big ass.  Oddly enough i didn't smoke hookah although i had every chance to, i guess its somewhat out of my system now :)

After a tiring day i went back home, watched a couple of eps of my currently favorite show, House M.D. , then continued to check my facebook and so on and so forth.   And here am I writing away and signing off actually...see you on my next blog.





P.S: this day was actually Tuesday...14th. i put it Wednesday the fifteenth because it sounds cooler like that.

One small click for man, one giant leap for the keyboard.

So today i start my first blog, ever. Every time a thought comes to my mind I feel like I should share it with someone around me, but with this sleeping routine there usually isn't :)


 Out of many reasons that I start this blog I think the most usefully significant reason would be to improve my writing, not that it sucks or anything (hooray!) but I'd like to improve.


 So this is my signing of on my first blog of many :)  I'd also like to add that my blogs will initially be about daily occurrences of my life, thoughts, opinions etc...and I'll probably be bitching a lot. so hang on :)