There is this thing about paying higher prices for ridicules things in people, that I cannot precisely put my finger on.   It just seems to be a matter of proportionality really...The more absurd the idea is, the higher the price.

And this comes of course in a spectrum of things that i hope will cover through my thoughts in this blog.

First things first, NUMBERS. Oh my god those numbers are quite fascinating...That man that payed 10 million riyals for the a phone number "666666", or that other man in Dubai that payed 25 million over the licenses plate number "150". It was crazy! i had to understand the incentive.       After much thought i came up with theee most logical explanation for this irrationality. As it came around, everyone knew that a "rhythmic" number, or consecutive one is one that has probably  been paid for, big time. which is the "essence" of this whole thing! I realized that those people pay these wild, absurd prices (consciously or subconsciously) because they KNOW, for a fact, that once people spot their special numbers (special in many ways) they are automatically going to think "wow, that number has been quite costly"   It is only a demonstration of wealth and nothing else, because they're f**king stupid.

        Another scene I remember is one that happened within my family. One day we were having lunch, peas and mutton to be exact, and my mom, along with some of others, were praising the quality and taste of the meat. Frankly, I was unable to tell the difference between it and other types of meat. In fact, it was kind of dry and tasteless, so i thought "maybe i should point that out?" and so i did. My mom was somewhat alarmed by my comment, "do you know what kind of meat this is? its calf meat, still feeding its mothers milk."    I didn't say anything at the time but it was a thought engraved in my mind. For long i thought of the insensitivity of the matter. It seems that the more savage and insensitive something is also the more it is desirable. Another sub of the same Idea includes buying rare leather, gold plated useless objects, and the plethora of endangered animal meat and bone (whale meat, ivory etc..)

It all follows the same purpose in the end, to possess what others don't, or can't.

Diss-a-rray?

It is true I haven't written a blog in a while, but who is to blame? me, or the cascade of time glutting, bloodsucking, ruthless tests that were bucket-poured over us in the past three weeks?

        Things still seem vague in regards of my collage situation, I have been fighting for every one last bit of hope I hold in my breath (fractions of marks, extracurricular activities, volunteering etc...), yet I'm not even sure what I want to be. Its not as simple as it sounds, I use to think people just choose what they aspire to be when they were younger, or what they excelled at. However, favoritism proved to be an unrealistic strategy.
Why? Because you don't always get what you want. For a matter with this amplitude, realism was the way to go, no following dreams or emotional inspirational melodramatic stories, just focus on whats real.
         As I came to assess the situation I had the following establishments left on the table: despite my fiery passion for biology I probably wont consider any field related to biology, I cannot study anything within the biology perimeter without including chemistry, and frankly speaking, I'm not ready to waste my time, money or effort on courses I know I will fail, so for that I blame the damn correlation.  I found myself bound to fields - I don't necessarily "feel for". An ultimatum, true...but in general a more acceptable one to me than others. I'm going to end up somewhere along the lines of Communications and Graphic Design probably and any confusion at this point is only natural, things never wind up the way you originally planned them to anyway. At the age of six I wanted to be a super hero, at the age of nine I wanted to be a lawyer, a scientist at eleven,  a biologist at thirteen, a wildlife biologist at fourteen, environmental science/ Graphic Design at fifteen through sixteen, and still lost amongst the eternal thoughts of endless seventeen, no one knows.
        I am confidant though that with time, things will take their course and hopefully only change towards the better, if god wants it to (I'm not being a creationist or anything, but its just this new thing I'm trying...I'll let you know if it works ;) ). I got my SAT scores  today, i did well in the math section..i think, so that's a step closer to an end....and end where we all begin :)

A Beating Sense of Belonging

"All people live in their country, except Palestinians, their country lives in them"  a quote i have ever valued  and imprinted in my heart; Although lately its seems that i stand alone. The reality is, everyone flavors a sense of belonging, because where a person belongs is where his identity subsides; a person with no sense of belonging is a person without identity, a person without identity is not only lost between the crowd, but also within himself.     I took a look around and realized that many of us Palestinians these days no longer feel they can belong to Palestine, because its almost that they feel they have nothing to take pride of anymore; people who don't take pride of where they're from try to find another place they belong and i understand, to a certain extent. What will they tell people? "Hey look I'm from that place, you can't see it because its just debris now", so they set off trying to find a new Identity, a new place to belong to, attempting to let go of their original identity and holding on to another, so they can tell people they belong; but i beg to differ.  Us Palestinians have the most definitive origins, I take pride of where I'm from and i say it loud and proud; we are the bravest of people and you don't need much proof of that if you follow the news. You SHOULD  be proud of being Palestinian, and frankly i am proud of my people, being able to live through such hardships. These days it might be hard to point to the ignorant where you're from on a map, but read the first line in this blog once more and tell me again, where are you from?

Comes second day of school, things are still unstable. Seems it was still trying to get a hang of it...My school is like a newborn giraffe, it takes a little while to get on its feet at first, but once its up it goes for the hills;

                     Another early morning, I still haven't found someone to drive me to school, so I ended up having my mom drive me early, but no biggie! fast-forward an hour or two and I'm in class already : ) I'll tell you now though, on a school day there usually isn't much to blog about...considering the boring routine, but ill just mark down the significant events. Today, for instance, our supervisor walked into our humongous class of twenty-nine, soon to be thirty-two,  picked out few students and transferred them to the other class. For the most of us we were same class in eighth when i first came to this school and since then we have been passably the same class, we were more or less  - for better or for wost, a family. It felt almost like we were robbed to be honest, I came to realize that from that moment  forward Global Academy will never be the same.

The Echoing Sound of a Long Day

Big thoughts raced through my mind as I embarked on a, in some sense, final trip to school; who's going to be in my class? who will our teachers be? mainly all kinds of little things that worry.    Due to some complications, i was unable to find a ride to school on my first day, so i had to call a taxi company a day ahead to get that done. Although the taxi promised to come in at the most convenient timing possible...it eventually arrived ten minutes past five in the morning! way to be convenient!? :/ 

I eventually accepted the reality of the situation, got into the taxi and arrived just about 15 minutes later, due of the lack of civilization of the road, I could have sworn I heard sound of the car's engine echo through the horizon of that empty godforsaken morning.        Although the car slowly crawling, my heart was raipidly and curiously racing towards the school, and then, the buzz-kill. Just as disappointing as it sounds, school was closed! it is yet to open at six thirty. Un-willfully, i walked to the juice stall nearby to kill of  few hours....had a most original Arab breakfast, drank Karak and shamefully walked back to school.   At first it all looked unchanged, from the small details going through the largest, but i was yet t be proven wrong.       It felt like Neil Armstrong as I was arguably the first person to set foor on school ground since the past academic year.   It was at least a good half an hour before I saw a living being come into the school; fast-forward a few frames, I'm stuck outside the school's building -- What happened!?  As it appears my parents have not registered me for this year and thus i was temporarily not allowed into the class; skipping through boring details, It was only until 9 o'cock that i went into class :-

 Beaten down by the process, i sat in the first spot that crossed my vision, got ready my pen and paper, and as similarly as every predictable year of my scholastic life, I proceeded to listen to each teacher's lectures, alternating between the "you're in the Xth grade" speech and the "I am your daddy, you will respect me" speech, truly a joy! I don't believe anything note worthy happened that day, although i was extremely gladdened by the familiar faces that i instantly recognized the moment i set foot in class :) But not for long,  soon all the delight faded away! stay tuned.

Just a Thought

It's 12 P.M. at the moment, i couldn't sleep so i eventually got up in a desperate attempt to tire myself into some decent sleep, i decided to wait for lunch while I'm at it so here we go--
I thought i could use this time to gather my thoughts and try to envision the upcoming year, which brings many obstacles my way, from the biggest issues like the Sat's for instance, to the smallest things like how will me manage to gather enough money by the end of the year for our failure prom of a class branched into a 1,000 group mosaic "cool people" & the underdogs, smokers & the non-smokers and all sorts of the littlest things that separate a crowd. I could sit here and argue about looking at the cup half-full or half empty, or whether it is pee in the cup...OR i could get another cup and fill it myself with what ever i could make of this year, hopefully all the best out of this one last year.
Awaiting my FINAL-FIRST day of school in 3 days, quit the paradox isn't it!? praying to god this year brings nothing but joy inshallah

Less than productive

Today was rather dry (metaphorically speaking), I didn't really get anything intellectual done with the SAT coming up...again awoken by one of my dear friends...gotta love it!  Now although it wasn't half as pleasant waking up after only 6 hours of sleep, but frankly speaking today might have just been worth it :)                I got up after the phone call, did my wake-up bathroom routine and then managed to watch a single House episode before the first bell echoed though the momentarily empty house--oh and did i forget to mention it was a poker night? well it was, person A, arrived a bit earlier than expected so i had to slip a shower while he played Fallout on the Xbox.  Four other peeps followed as the night progressed to become the most significant of the week by far, we played poker, fooled around, ate pizza at Papa Johns and then everyone went his way.

Its currently 10 in the morning, my energy got drained out as i went on a House M.D. frenzy-- watched almost six episodes in a row, because it's just that good. Season five seems nice so far, but jut a bit confusing.     I'm now drinking my morning cup of coffee with the family as i write this and actually going to head to bed, and yes, even I am amused that i can sleep after a good cup of coffee ~